


Dry Wit and Pregnancy Seldom Mix

by Jaycen



Category: Grey's Anatomy, The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/F, Hormones, Ice Cream, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24441067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaycen/pseuds/Jaycen
Summary: Andrea is pregnant and hormonal. Miranda is confused and amused.
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 22
Kudos: 213





	Dry Wit and Pregnancy Seldom Mix

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Grey's Anatomy. Disclaimers: I do not own the characters, shows/movies or make money from anything. This is my first Fanfic. Ever. If you catch something cringe worthy please let me know! Otherwise I will probably do it frequently and be none the wiser. Thank you to Bast_Sloan for being an awesome Beta! You rock!  
> Short Crack-fic.  
> On with the show..

Andrea sat in the rocking chair in the nursery they had decorated.

No, that _she_ had decorated.

In the rocking chair that _she_ paid to have handmade for her and flown in from Italy so that Andrea would be comfortable. A sturdy rocking chair was a wonderful cure for lower back pain when you were seven months pregnant. 

So there she sat, in the chair, rocking and sobbing and shaking because she _left_.

Andrea just knows it’s because she‘s tired of the long nights and fussy moods, body changes and all of the changes in general. This was it. This was the end of the line. _This_ is what would finally drive away the love of her life. 

“Andrea?” Her voice floated up the flights of stairs like an angelic butterfly gliding on the wind. No answer.

Miranda set the groceries onto the counter in the kitchen. She grabbed her wife’s favorite type of ice cream out of one of the bags and two spoons from a drawer.

This particular kind had been a favorite of her lovers since they were in college together at Northwestern. What a whirlwind THAT had been. Miranda was still amazed that either one of them even graduated. After all, they spent far more time in their dorm rooms than the classrooms it seemed like.

The custodians never could stop giving them the hairy eyeball during their senior year. It’s not their fault they never locked the broom closets. The Gaul, _honestly._ Miranda headed up the townhouse stairs in search of her other half. She passed outside of the door to the nursery and could just make out her wife sitting in her chair.

A gentle smile stole across Miranda’s face and skin slightly crinkled near the corner of her eyes. She nudged open the door and feasted her eyes on her beloved. Andrea was watching Grey’s Anatomy on her iPad, AGAIN. Is it really healthy to be so addicted to drama? Especially while pregnant? 

Miranda didn’t know. But the love of her life was crying over the shooting of Derek, again, and Miranda knew tonight would be a long night of holding her lover and listening to her lament over the injustices in the world. 

Miranda didn’t have the heart to tell her she understood where the shooter was coming from. That if _anything_ happened to Andrea she couldn’t be sure what she would do to the person she thought was responsible for it. Miranda quickly shook her head.

Clearly Andrea was watching this far too much around her if Miranda was beginning to know the characters and plot twists. 

The movement of her head drew Andrea‘s eyes to Miranda’s and they looked at each other for a long moment. Miranda held up the container of Cherry Garcia and worriedly looked on as Andrea proceeded to loudly wail and hold her arms out towards Miranda, much like a toddler would.

Miranda rushed to the side of the chair and began stroking her hair while holding both Andrea and the ice cream precariously close.

“ I thought you left me! I thought you were mad at me and tired of all this and couldn’t take any more and…“, Andrea‘s words trailed off into sobs on Miranda’s shoulder. 

Miranda’s eyes were wild and wide with bewilderment. She pulled back to properly look at her wife.

Andrea‘s eyes were bloodshot and teary. Dark circles hung under them while droplets of mucus dripped out of her nose towards her lips. Her hair was unkempt and pulled haphazardly into a messy bun, while her extra large college hoodie and sleep pants hung over her very pregnant belly.

She was exquisite. She was perfect. She was _insane_. They’ve been together for nearly 20 years! They were nearly 40 years old. She has been with this woman for almost half her life. Miranda is genuinely flummoxed. They have persevered through everything life has thrown at them. They are pregnant with twins for goodness sake! Well, Andrea is pregnant. And hormonal. _Very_ hormonal. It could literally be anything making her act and think this...wait. 

“Andrea? Is this about you eating my yogurt cup this morning? Darling, I have told you before and I meant it, when I said, I do not mind one _BIT_ if you eat everything in this house! Our little Bobbsey’s are growing inside of you darling. They need nourishment! Anything you want is yours my love. Would you like...the moon? I would throw a lasso around it and..”

“I spilled the yogurt on your vintage tweed Chanel suit when I was trying to find my old college sweatshirt.” Andrea rushes the words out quickly, cutting Miranda’s romantic diatribe off, and burying her nose deeper into her wife’s neck. 

Miranda calmly pulled back from the embrace. She placed the ice cream, iPad and spoons on the floor. She took Andrea’s hands into her own as she knelt down in front of the chair. 

“Which one darling?” Miranda made sure that her face was completely blank and that her voice was very even. Andrea whispered, “The 1924 Ina Claire one. It dribbled through a tear in the plastic…“, Andrea trailed off and chanced a look at her lover. 

Miranda was a statue. Immovable. Completely still. Her face was a perfectly blank slate. Andrea could not read her wife for the first time in nearly 20 years. 

Miranda’s hand drifted up to a stray piece of hair and tucked it behind Andrea‘s ear. 

“I think you should take the beach house in the divorce proceedings. The townhouse is much closer to Runway and you can work from anywhere as a Journalist.“

...

Many years later when their twin daughters, Caroline and Cassidy, we’re looking to begin their own families, Miranda would sit down with their partners and explain to them how dry wit humor cannot always be counted on to relieve tension during hormonal pregnancies.

The haunted look in her eyes as she gave this sage advice ensured her words were never taken for granted. As Andrea placed a fresh cup of coffee down in front of her wife of 45 years, she smiles as she remembers that day. Then she frowns and heads for her Holopad.

The 38th season of Grey’s Anatomy was set to be released today. She turns and quickly snatches a yogurt cup from the fridge and kisses her wife as she sets out on a path bound for an old creaky rocking chair. 


End file.
